Well, it has been quite some time since I've written a blog entry.

A lot has happened since then... and yet I'm pretty much in the exact same place.

You see, I dated that boy again. You know, the one that had all the issues and was such a terrible person to me? Yeah... I think that it probably shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, but he was exactly the same as before, except worse. Although, he didn't break up with me by running away, he broke up with me by saying he didn't want to date me anymore and then hanging up on me on Skype. So I guess maybe tact has found him. Sarcasm.

Something that really got me recently was the thought of Peter when he denied Christ three different times.

Every time that I was dating this guy, there were so many times that God was slapping me across the face making it SO obvious to me that this man was not a godly man and I was just wasting my time, body, and heart on someone who was not who He had for me. God gave me so many opportunities to obey Him and I didn't. Three different times. Every time that this guy and I would be broken up, I would have some personal little epiphany and I would get back where I needed to be with God and then I'd do it all over again.

So to me I remind myself of Peter. I love God, and told Him that I did and that all I wanted to do was obey Him... but when it came down to it, I chose myself over obeying God.

Now that this man and I are broken up for the third and final time, I feel like I'm at the stage of my life where God is asking me, "Kaitlyn, do you love me?" and I say yes... to which He responds by commanding me to take care of His sheep and then asking me two more times if I truly love Him. As with Peter, it is heartbreaking to have the Creator of the Universe remind you of when you denied Him... but it is a relief to know that He still cares and wants me to be part of His plan.

So, we'll see what happens from this point on. I know that if that boy tries to talk to me I'm probably going to do some weird dramatic thing to make sure he never does again... but for now I really don't think that he will ever talk to me again. Which is good. I don't need that temptation in my life ever again. I'll mess up all on my own a million other ways, I don't need to make the same mistake for the fourth time.